"Web site helps unaffiliated find rabbis for weddings"
More than a rent-a-rabbi scheme, a new Web site seeks to bring together couples and rabbis in the name of Jewish continuity. RabbiRentals.com is all about making connections to Judaism, according to entrepreneur and telecommunications engineer David Segal, a 30-year-old Framingham native now living in Phoenix. With so many Jewish Americans unaffiliated with a temple, he's tried to develop a cost-effective way to find a rabbi for life-cycle events and Jewish education without the expense of joining a congregation. "People my age don't have $4,000 to $6,000 to join a temple for a year just to have a rabbi for four to five hours," Segal said. "Ties to a temple are being broken every day, and people looking to make a life-cycle commitment don't know what to do. The Internet may allow connections to be made." Segal himself had trouble finding a temple when he first moved to Arizona five years ago, even though he's active in the Jewish community. A former member of Temple Beth Sholom in Framingham, he couldn't find a temple that suited his religious needs. Segal's quest to find a rabbi become more urgent after he met Newton native Adina Zarchan on the local Jewish federation's mission to Israel. The two were engaged in May. Segal's Web site lists 52 rabbis across the country, a half-dozen of whom are located in Greater Boston. The average rabbi charges about $675 for a wedding, $400 for a funeral and $275 for a bris. Segal receives a 10-15 percent commission. He said he does extensive background checks on the rabbis and estimated about 25 percent of them have their own congregations. The site includes biographical information on each rabbi. They are listed by state. To make the event more personal, Segal urges his clients to either meet or talk by phone to the rabbi before the event. "It needs to be a family environment," he said. "There's going to be meetings, counseling, and everybody's going to get along. I want to make sure everyone is happy." Segal has had some difficulty selling rabbis on the idea. "The 'rent-a-rabbi' connotation is not a good one," he said. "I received criticism form rabbis and was called a 'bad Jew.' It took me a year to assemble a little over 50 rabbis." Despite the reluctance of many rabbis to sign up, Segal said the business is growing. RabbiRentals.com had 30 clients in 2002 and averages 200-400 unique visitors a day. "The American Jewish community has been steering away from its Jewish heritage, but everyone needs a rabbi," he said. "If I can make a connection between the rabbi and the couple and eventually bring them into a temple, it's the biggest mitzvah I can do."
Rabbis for Rent
by Gaby Wenig, Contributing Writer
If, like 82 percent of American Jewry, you are unaffiliated with a temple or synagogue, but still desire a rabbi to officiate at your special occasion, then telecommunications engineer David Segal of Phoenix, Ariz., has designed a Web site just for you. The site is www.Rabbirentals.com, and once you log on, you can use your credit card to rent a rabbi, who will then rock up to your door and invoke the necessary blessings to make your special occasion a religious one. Be it weddings, bar mitzvahs, house blessings or funerals, Rabbirentals.com has rabbis for all special moments, at a variety of prices. While the site does not list any of the rabbis by name, it does give some biographical details, so you can choose between a rabbi who was “formerly a corporate executive, [who] entered rabbinic school at the age of 30,” and one who “earned his license as an Israeli desert guide.” Segal said he started the site when he and his friends, all of whom were unaffiliated with a temple, started discussing how convenient it would be if there was a Web site where they could access a rabbi’s services without having to incur any of the membership costs involved with joining a temple. Segal, who was involved with United Jewish Communities, started using his contacts to amass a list of rabbis who would be willing to be rented and had the site up and running by January 2002. Currently, the site has 54 rabbis of all denominations listed, and by using Rabbirentals.com one can rent rabbis who will officiate at services all across America. So far, 48 customers have used the services of the site, and the site gets 200-400 hits a day. While Segal has taken a battering from some rabbis who fear that his site will draw Jews away from temples and synagogues, he feels that once people have a connection with a rabbi, they might actually be inspired to join the temple. “I just created an opportunity for a more cost-effective means for someone to attain a rabbi,” he said.
Rabbis for Rent
If the Jewish community, particularly the Los Angeles Jewish community, didn’t make the cost of synagogue membership and Torah study so prohibitive (“Rabbis for Rent,” March 7), there certainly wouldn’t be a need for this type of service offered. As a single parent with a single income, finding a synagogue willing to teach my son Hebrew, let alone let him become a bar mitzvah there, was mind-boggling. A sample of answers I received when my income was revealed: “I’m sorry, everyone has to pay; we even have people on public assistance who have to pay” and “We are not a bar mitzvah factory, either you become a member or we can’t accept you.” If I did not find someone who does travel, teaches quickly and doesn’t cost a full year’s salary, my son would not be called to the Torah this year. These so-called “Rabbis for Rent” are a godsend, and are definitely doing God’s work without putting a price tag on it, as it should be.
Miriam Garber, Los Angeles
Unorthodox rabbis for modern Jews
When Patty and Doug, one a Jew and one a gentile, decided to get married in a Jewish ceremony on Vieques, a tropical island off the coast of Puerto Rico, they went straight to rabbirentals.com. Meanwhile, a divorced New Jersey woman who decided her son should experience a bar mitzvah–-the Jewish coming of age ritual–-also turned to the site.
After months of weekly tutoring sessions and meetings, the boy became a Jewish man not under the watchful eye of his neighborhood rabbi but through a rabbi she met through the Internet. And when a New York family wanted a bat mitzvah ceremony to be in a catering hall rather than a synagogue, they, too, “rented” a rabbi–-as well as the Torah to complete the ceremony. Through Rabbi Rentals, an online company that provides rabbis for a full range of Jewish religious services, Patty and Doug, the bar mitzvah boy and bat mitzvah girl met Rabbi David Honisberg, who lives in Manhattan.
Patty and Doug’s sunset ceremony beneath a traditional Jewish marriage canopy might well have been the first Jewish ceremony on the island, Honigsberg said with a laugh. Nearly 75 percent of the Puerto Rican population, including Vieques’ 10,000 inhabitants, is Catholic. Fifty years ago, Rabbi Rentals would be the opening line for a Mel Brooks joke, but now it is a Web site where almost 150 Jews a year turn to, literally, rent a rabbi. Religious leaders say it bespeaks a schism between Jews and Judaism, a byproduct of the transient world of modern America.
While Rabbi Rentals does make ceremonial matches between Jews and rabbis, more conservative religious leaders warn that ventures like Rabbi Rentals take Judaism out of context, destroying the essential community component of the religion. A religious rite, they say, should not be an isolated event, but part of an ongoing religious commitment. Rabbi Rentals is a double-edged sword, they fear, because while it allows Jews to have religious ceremonies it also allows them to pick and choose a rabbi for nearly any ceremony, including an interfaith wedding, which are not recognized by Orthodox Jews and dimly viewed by other Jewish groups. “Rabbis should not be rented for a ritual and then returned. You’re not renting a vacuum cleaner for the weekend,” said Rabbi David Israel, director of communal services at Yeshiva University rabbinic seminary, the leading Orthodox Jewish school. “Our sages tell us that one is supposed to develop a relationship with a rabbi who will be a spiritual leader, a teacher throughout life.” But the site’s defenders say some Judaism is better than none. By making it easier for Jews to find rabbis, they argue, more people are inclined to follow the rituals, while Web site rabbis themselves are reaching out to unaffiliated Jews.
Traditionally, the synagogue rabbi would be the one to perform weddings, baby namings and bar mitzvahs. But as Jewish children grow into Jewish adults and leave their parents’ community, they often fail to join a synagogue in their new home. That was the dilemma David Segal, the founder of Rabbi Rentals, found himself in five years ago. Segal was raised as a Conservative Jew in Boston. As an adult, he moved to Arizona, where he struggled with the geographical differences in Judaism. “A Reform shul [synagogue] in Boston or New York,” he said, “that is the Conservative service in Arizona.” Back East, he said, a Reform service would be 60 percent English and 40 percent Hebrew. In Arizona, Segal found that Conservative services conformed to his idea of Reform and that Reform services were 100 percent English.
When Segal met a Jewish girl on a mission to Israel and they decided to get married, they felt they had no spiritual home. Both were active in Jewish life but neither was a member of a synagogue. And Segal found that having a synagogue wedding, which he said would have cost at least $3,000 for the ceremony alone, was too expensive for a young couple. So Segal found a modern solution to satisfy his problem with Jewish tradition--a Web site. A friend from Jewish camp built the site and by the end of 2001 Rabbi Rentals was up and running. Segal said the site generates about 1,000 hits a month, which results in about 12 requests for a ceremony and $15,000 to $20,000 a year in revenue, most of which he donates to Jewish charities. The site includes a stable of 68 rabbis, at least one in every state of the union, one in Israel and a few in the United Kingdom. Rabbis are chosen by location, with prices listed for each ceremony. The online service PayPal is accepted for payments, which range from $1,087.50 for a wedding performed by a prominent Reform rabbi in New York to $652.50 for a wedding in Lexington, Ky., performed by a rabbi who went to a nondenominational seminary. Segal, who works in information technology, said about 30 percent of the wedding requests are for interfaith ceremonies.
Rabbi Charles Savenor, associate dean of the Rabbinical School at the Jewish Theological Seminary in New York, the leading institution for Conservative Judaism, said most synagogues would work with a young couple so that finances would not prevent them from joining the congregation. He said there are myriad resources for Jews in search of congregations, including a Web site listing Conservative rabbis by location and programs dedicated to attracting Jews to congregations ranging from geography-based guides to Jewish religion to educational programs.
The Web site itself bespeaks the yearning Jews have for a sense of community, said Rabbi Shirley Idelsohn, dean of Hebrew Union College and the Jewish Institute in New York, the premier institution for Reform Judaism. “It says to me,” she said, “that people who aren’t affiliated with the Jewish community do long for that and yet, this would be a tiny step that one could take instead of a significant step, which one could take by actually putting themselves into a synagogue.” An essential part of Reform Judaism, the most open of the three denominations, Idelsohn explained, is the sense of community.
People join temples for education for themselves, their children and to become a member of the Jewish community itself. “In some ways this Web site underscores an individualistic approach to Judaism instead of a communal approach,” Savenor added. “It may be helping individual Jews, but is it really helping the Jewish community? “In some ways," he said, "I would much rather see someone fly in their home rabbi to do a life cycle event than to spend $785 on someone that they don’t even know.”
By Lani Perlman
He'll drive you crazy
Any anticipation for A&E's reality show Gene Simmons: Family Jewels relies on one question: What kind of family could a man this arrogant -- who quite believably claims to have bedded more than 4,600 women in his life and whose unmarried life partner is former Playboy magazine fixture and B-movie queen Shannon Tweed -- possibly be raising? The surprising answer is that the Simmons clan -- Simmons, Tweed and their two children, 17-year-old Nick and 13-year-old Sophia -- are as charming, funny and unpretentious as they come. Each episode features one group endeavor interspersed with combined interviews of two family members, and their interplay has a consistent and natural comic flair. In one, Gene discusses his philosophy on marriage (he's against it) and says he and Tweed are "happily unmarried," to which Nick replies, "You call it happily unmarried. Mom calls it … waiting." The pause before "waiting," coupled with a deadpan glance, illustrates a spot-on comic timing in Nick that eerily recalls John Krasinski, who plays downtrodden Jim on NBC's The Office. Sophie is equally sharp, looking and acting way beyond her 13 years as she throws out lines like, "Dad picking out jewelry is like a dog picking out cat food." The first episode deals head-on with Gene's hatred of marriage, as the family pranks him with a surprise wedding. Without revealing whether he did or didn't, suffice it to say the look on Gene's face when he sees the rent-a-rabbi is priceless. Another episode addresses Gene's attempts to school his son in the ways of rock stardom, embarrassing poor Nick at every turn. Nick, who is 6 foot 7, lanky and shy in a predictably teenage way, sings in a band that plays baseline rock with a Kiss-like, three-chord frame. Simmons plays the doting father to the hilt, booking the group a gig without Nick's knowledge, trying to show him and his bandmates -- for whom Simmons is clearly just another well-meaning but meddling suburban dad -- how to command the stage and even taking out a flying banner for Nick without his knowledge. For a legend like Simmons, the point of doing a reality show is to soften and humanize him. To that end, this show succeeds wildly. Gene Simmons: Family Jewels is a special treat for the singer's fans, who will enjoy seeing a side of the man he has rarely revealed to the media. Unlike The Osbournes, which depicted its rock-legend patriarch as a doddering fool, Family Jewels shows a loving father with a sweet, charming and caring clan, and it may just make this sex-crazed demon and his pinup nonwife surprising role models for how to raise a well-adjusted showbiz family.
Gene Simmons: Family Jewels will premiere 10 p.m. Monday on A&E.
by Larry Getlen Posted August 2 2006
Rocker Simmons Says He Has No Plans To KISS the Bride
Wedding Goddess Wisdom
Yes, that was the real seventies rock icon Gene Simmons walking down the aisle at the Viva Las Vegas Wedding Chapel recently! (http://www.vivalasvegasweddings.com/) Lord knows, it was not his wedding. The KISS front man is as world famous for aversion to marriage as he is for his long tongue. He appeared to be, quite akwardly, crashing a wedding. He was taping a scene for his new A&E reality show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, in which he stars with his partner of 23 years and their two kids. http://www.genesimmons.com/ Seems, after a promotional visit to Hooters, one of the girls asked him along to the wedding, and he ended up escorting a bride down the aisle. Given that Viva Las Vegas is known for its wacky characters and impersonations, it took the groom a while to get that his bride was on the arm of a real legend, not a rental. Simmons seemed skittish as he hesitantly made his way down the aisle. When the officiant asked if anyone present objected to the wedding, Simmons stood and said "I Do." Looking over at the nervous groom and the suddenly anxious bride, he said, "Do you have any idea what you are getting yourself into? ... One woman for the rest of your life." But the groom agreed to "Til death do we part" and Simmons backed down. Weddings seem to make him wince. Simmons says he has been "happily unmarried for 23 years to the same girl" and that he would rather that than "married and miserable." His girl of 23 years is Shannon Tweed, with whom he has a home, kids, a family life, and now, a reality show. When Tweed, a one-time Playboy Playmate, heard Simmons attended a wedding, she decided to surprise him with an mock "ambush wedding". A rabbi was rented, rings were purchased and Simmons broke out in a sweat until informed it was a joke. Gene Simmons is pretty serious about his no-wedding approach to romantic partnership. I once interviewed him and asked him about the “M word.” "I've never been married and don't intend to get married," he said. "I think it is a beautifully romantic institution, but I think you have to be nuts to be in any kind of institution." "It takes all the wind out of my sails. I believe if you give your word you have to live by it. It's more important than a contract. That's why I won't take an oath in front of some religious person saying I promise I will never want another woman for as long as I live." Ouch. Not a big marriage fan. But with this new reality show putting forth the ideas that Ms. Tweed might like a ring some day (whether for real or for the drama), who knows, maybe Simmons will be pressed to walk the plank ...I mean aisle ... for real.
Posted August 8, 2006 9:13 PM by Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway
Rabbirentals.com has caught on and there is no better sign of that than the ‘Family Jewels’ premier
On the series premier of ‘Family Jewels,” the new reality television show following the life of KISS front man Gene Simmons, a surprise wedding is planned and carried out by Gene’s long time girlfriend Shannon Tweed.
The wedding is done in order to confront the rock-star about his unwavering avoidance of uttering the words “I do.” Tweed prepared every detail to the tee and even included a real Rabbi to conduct the ceremony. Finding a Rabbi to take part in a surprise wedding may have proven to be a more daunting task had it not been for the success of RabbiRentals.com, a site providing a Rabbi’s services for various events. While the Rabbi for this occasion was used for a “prank wedding,” his employment represents a large spike in the popularity and usefulness of the web site and its services.
Created in 2002 by President David Segal, the site provides Jewish individuals and families the opportunity to use rabbinical services for the many meaningful spiritual experiences in life. More importantly, however, RabbiRentals.com lends itself towards supporting people of many different Jewish backgrounds who need the services of a rabbi but may not have the funds for a temple membership. The site’s ballooning popularity in recent years can be attributed to a larger trend in Jewish individuals and couples these days. While many would consider themselves to be of the Reform denomination, a large portion of Jews today are unaffiliated with any major congregation. Without being a part of a Synagogue community, many Jews carve out their own form of the religion, celebrating some holidays while missing others. Despite not belonging to a Temple, many unaffiliated Jews want to have a Rabbi present for weddings, funerals and Bris', but don’t know how to go about getting one. The need for these services is a very real one in the Jewish community today.
The idea of Rabbirentals.com has really caught on recently and there is no better sign of that than the ‘Family Jewels’ premier. When asked about how he feels the exposure will help out business, Segal replied: “I am very excited about the exposure that the television show will grant Rabbirentals.com.” With or without the KISS star endorsing the company, there is no question that the need for spiritual services for those who might be on the cusp are never ending, and as long as there will be Rabbis, you can rent them.
Joshua H. Wilder- Freelance Journalist/ jhwilder@student.umass.edu